March 7, 2010
Friday was a little trying for me. I had to see my husband. I haven’t seen him up close since October 15th, and have only seen him from afar a few times when I have spotted him at the lake.
I think that he must be going through middle-age crazy. He had on a “buff” shirt and he is letting his hair grow out. This is someone who has ALWAYS worn a t-shirt or a button down (if he was going somewhere nice). To see him like this was weird. He’s never had one of those shirts before. That’s how I know that he is trying to “re-invent” himself. There is nothing wrong with this, but I found it amusing that he is doing it now.
I love him. I always will, but I know that the love is not reciprocated. In fact, it hasn’t been for a long time. If I look back, I would say it has probably been about 5 years or so. Definitely over the last 3 years.
I don’t know why I was with him. Perhaps to show him what true love is? I don’t know. One of my life experiences from our time together is how futile life is without Christ. How it is sad and depressing without Him (Christ). How, no matter how much you party, drink and have sex – all of it leaves you EMPTY. It has a deep pit of despair in the middle of it all. That sucks you in. It traps you and keeps you under control of those things and you cannot move forward. You are like a pig that, once it gets cleaned off, goes back into the mud, muck and mire again and again to wallow in it.
I know what Job said, “To bring back his soul from the pit, to be enlightened with the light of the living.” (Job 33:30 KJV). I know this…when you are brought out of it — the pit — everything has a great light to it. Things that used to weigh you down, you run from…and I mean in the opposite direction. I have been to a bar & grill and a country & western place since he has left and the same stuff is still going on there as before. I want to be in a place that is moving and not stagnant. I have to stay away from these pits so that I won’t be like Proverbs 26:10, “As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”
April 22, 2009
“Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.”
December 17, 2008
Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; celebrate His wonderful name with music.
The LORD is good. When trouble comes He is a strong refuge. And He knows everyone who trusts in Him.
January 2, 2008
His Word speaking to me today:
Now the serpent was the shrewdest of all the creatures the LORD God had made. “Really?” he asked the woman. “Did God really say you must not eat any of the fruit in the garden?”
Each year since 2002 I have read through the Bible. This year will be no different. I do this because it is only through God’s word can I know how to live like God wants me to live. It is a personal choice as I have been called and chosen to be His. It is only natural that I would give to Him my time for all that He has done for me. I typically get my cup of coffee and sit down to his word between 5:15 am and 6:00 am — not that you have to do this, but I enjoy it!!!
Each day this year I will try to place a reference on this blog as to what I am reading in the Bible for that day. I follow the One Year Bible plan that is found here. To help me facilitate this journey I have a One Year Bible. Also, if I find I don’t have time to read it, I can listen to it via the internet or on my ipod at the One Year Bible On Radio. And if you want to connect with other believers on the journey, I would highly recommend Mike’s blog: www.oneyearbibleblog.com.
You will find only a small portion of scripture as to what I write down in my journal as I am reading His word. Sometimes He also tells me what I need to do that day in my schedule and I write that down. I want to run with whatever he gives me this year in 2008.
If you would like to join me again this year, today’s reading can be found here.
December 31, 2007
But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in His wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.
November 17, 2007
If you need wisdom – if you want to know what God wants you to do – ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. But when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
November 14, 2007
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.